My new tube of ChapStick says "Warning: Avoid contact with the eyes..."  I've been really really REALLY drunk before, but I don't think that's a problem.

Speaking of ChapStick, I don't like it like I used to.  The past few tubes have PALED in comparison to the Ice Drops Medicated I've been using.  That stuff RAWKS! (BTW, go to this website... it's WAY funny that they need all that to sell lip balm)

ALSO on the whole ChapStick tip, I STILL remember, at least 20 years ago, there was a Vaseline Intensive Care lip balm commercial (you DO remember the vaseline in a tube, don't you?) where the woman is all bundled up, and she says basically "ChapStick is all wax.  Wax is for CANDLES!!, you need...) and when she says that, she lights a wick in this tube of ChapStick.  I STILL think that commercial was cool, even now that I'm grown up (sorta)

Well, I have now written WAY MORE about lip balm than I shoulda.  Just so you know, I carry the stuff around with me EVERYWHERE, which is further proof that I am gay gay gay...