My computer at home is acting up. It will work fine for a few days, then it will lock up, and then it will take a LONG time to reboot, and I'm supposedly Good With Computers, but I can't fix it,and it sort of pisses me off.

I am resisting my Inner Computer Geek, who keeps telling me that all I have to do is reformat the hard drive and reload the operating system, all my software, and then, of course, put all my stolen music and porn back on it and it will all be fine, but of course, I don't want to do that. I'm annoyed, however, because I know that my Inner Geek is right about this.

I think it might actually make my Inner Geek happy if I bought myself a NEW computer that was all shiny and freshly installed (preferably with an LCD monitor and a DVD burner) and then, I'd fully give THIS computer (which is faster than my websurfing and word processing needs anyway) over to the Geek and let him put Linux or some such geeky shit on this one. Would THAT make him happy? Oh yeah, you betcha!

However, my Inner Accountant has reservations about that plan. Everybody knows he's a spoilsport, though, and if I hadn't gagged him, he wouldn't have let me buy my new cellphone or the sleek Palm, or for that matter, the Weird Al Yankovic DVD (I probably should have listened to him on that one).

So far, underemployment has been the Inner Accountant's argument about keeping spending down. Now that is being resolved, and Inner Geek (aka Inner Gadget Freak) is starting to itch for some new... stuff. HDTV, anyone? They're under two grand! My cable company is broadcasting LOTS of it!).

Actually, IG (aka IGF) can keep wishing. I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather spend my money on more pragmatic things like sport-utilty vehicles and bar tabs and Halloween costumes. I guess actually, that's my Inner Gay Man. And folks, when it comes to all my inner personalities, Inner Gay Man ALWAYS WINS. Trust me on this.