WHOO HOO!  Wurstfest!

Last night was the first night of Wurstfest.  I had a blast.  I went straight from work, and got to see the annual "Biting of the Sausage", which isn't as much as it sounds, and then the eatin' and drinkin' got underway.  It's great fun, if a bit cheesy.

I spent about four hours on the Wurstfest grounds, two of them in line.  See, the first night, everyone in town is all jonesing for the Wurstfest food, such as fried green pickles (go great with beer!), German chocolate pie (sinful and delicious), potato pancakes (the longest line by far... I didn't even TRY last night.  I'll get some today!) and of course, the roasted corn.

Wha?!  Roasted Corn?  You may be asking your self, "is that german?" 

Um, I don't think so.  It's just... something they sell there.  The local soccer club uses it as a fundraiser.  It's good stuff, but not something I crave.  My friends, however, were all about the corn.  So stand in line for it, I must.

Here's the problem, though: they put totally inept people in charge of this thing.

The Scary Corn Lady, as I'm now fond of calling her, was a VISION.  She had one of those "shelf asses" that looked like you set a table on.  Her mullet was nicely managed by a banana clip, and all of her tattos matched (the mark of a fine woman, I'm telling you!")  I don't think that she was eating the corn herself, because it would have been a waste.  You need most of your teeth to eat corn on the cob, don't you?

Anyway, let me explain how this corn roaster works.  It's a big wheel that they put the corn in these baskets, and as you spin the wheel, it reveals more and more baskets.  The way it's supposed to work is that you'll take the corn out of the baskets as you serve it, and then reload that basket, and go to the next one.  By the time you get back around, you got fresh corn.

They didn't do it that way.  I noticed the line was moving slowly because the Inept Corn Helper (another lovely woman) was spinning the wheel back and forth, finding the ones that were done.  They were not replenishing... just serving (slowly).

My friend really, really wanted corn, so I told her I'd wait with her.  It seemed important, so whatever.  Just as I get to the front of the line, I placed my order.

The Scary Corn Woman looked at me with her good eye and said "you jus wan' one?  I'll be awhile"

And then she plodded away, staring into space.  Okay.  Two spaces.  Tricky eyes, you know...

Meanwhile, Inept Corn Helper is spinning the wheel, spinning the wheel, spinning the wheel, and just kept saying "these aren't done, these aren't done..."

I didn't get corn for fifteen friggin minuites.  I was not happy, but Corn Lady looked kinda scary, so I was nice.

ME:
"You've got quite a line here."

Scary Corn Lady:
"Yea.  Who knew so many people would want CORN?"  I've sold more CORN tonight that I thought we'd sell all weekend.  This is the CORN EATIN'EST BUNCH I've ever seen."

I backed away slowly from the Scary Corn Lady, because I was concerned for my life.

My friend bought me a beer for waiting so long.  Today, if she's there, I'll try to get a picture of Scary Corn Lady.  She's something else.