So I went to a meetup.com event at a coffeehouse in Austin that is mighty close to the UT campus.  It was a cool place, but it was full of Austin hippies.  Austin hippies are a unique breed, and they are part of what makes Austin, Austin.  But sometimes, they are a bit TOO organic for me.

So I go into this coffeehouse and it smells like dirty hair.  Like, seriously, there was some FUNK going on in that place.  Perhaps it was the couches which I bravely sat upon.  Maybe it was just... the age of the building.  Maybe somebody needed a change of underwear.  Whatever the deal, it was fun-key.

It wasn't all bad, though.  The coffee was good, and the people I met were all pretty cool, too.  I now have three new weblog/journal things to read daily.  I don't know when I'll have time to do that, but whatever...  Once the converstation got going (and people asked me to talk about my favorite subject... ME!) we had a good visit.  I'll go back next time, that's for sure.

So we're in this funkified place, and I realize that I needed to pee.  I noticed the bathrooms were toward the back, so I excused myself, and opened the door that had "this is a bathroom" painted on it.

Inside this chamber of horrors, there were two toilets with no partitions or anything.  The light was off, so the only illumination was from a window facing the parking lot.  I was fumbling for the switch when I heard a voice.

"Hey man... come on in.  I'm just finishing up.  That toilet over there is free."

As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I am able to discern that the voice is coming from a guy sitting on the toilet nearest the door.

Just in case you didn't hear that, THERE WAS A MAN SITTING ON THE TOILET IN THE DARK MAKING CONVERSATION WITH ME!

Shitting dude: "Coffee's kicked in, I guess."

Horrified me: "Um... yeah.  Okay.  I can come back if you need some privacy."

SD: "No, man... I'm cool.  Nature calls.  Can't hide from the cosmos, right?"

ME (to myself): Oh holy mother of god.  Please don't let him wipe when I'm in here.  (out loud) "Is the light switch broken?"

SD: "Nah, man.  I just kinda like the vibe in this room when it's dark.  It has a cool look, with the shadows and all."

ME (to myself) OH GODDAMN!  HE'S STANDING UP! (out loud) "Well, have a nice evening!"

SD: "I guess I will now that the pressure's off!"

So there was that.  I guess I'm repressed or something, but I prefer to shit behind a locked door (there was a working lock on that door, too) and I do not make conversation whilst pinching loafs.  But I'm weird that way.

The rest of my evening consisted of watching Cheers on a big screen TV in a bar, which is sort of like watching porn while having sex, but not as much fun.

Hope all is well in your world.

Wow. I mean. WOW.

Happens in girl's bathrooms all the time. Usually while peeing, though.

In the military the toilets are all in the open.

my sister stands on the toilet and goes you have not seen anything like that i bet.

i do that all the time even in restraunts and things i even poop that way