So I spent about half my day as juror #248, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Except for all the ugly people, and the creepy woman staring at me, I had no problems.

My friends who have had jury duty in the past had horror stories about how they keep you in a room until they put you on a panel, and how they keep you all day, and how awful it is.  It is worth noting that these people live in large cities, and I live in a suburban county, where they take for granted that you are a good, kind person who will actually show up at appointed times.  In short, they treat you like an adult.

SO I get there right on time, and am seated in a courtroom with about 150 other people.  It was truly a cross-section of humanity... which is a good thing.  I knew no one.  The only seat left is next to this man who has somehow managed to be dirty at nine in the morning on a Monday.  He smelled of beer and cigarettes and sweat and that's a lot to handle on a Monday morning after a holiday.  He was released early, however, because he could not read and write the English language.  Damn my literacy!  I'm going to be picked, I just know it!

The judge is kind, quick and efficient.  She has to repeat herself several times because as a rule, people are stupid.  I sometimes forget that, because I don't deal with the mass of humanity on a regular basis, and most of my friends are smart.  But really...  when the judge says "We will now take a twenty minute break, and it's now 9:40,  Please be back here at 10.  Are there any questions?," wouldn't you feel stupid asking, "What time do we have to be back?"

Wouldn't you?

So the judge tells us all about the different cases that are to be tried this week, and what the schedule is, and then asks us to approach the bench with any potential conflicts.  I decide that I will request to take a case earlier in the week, because on Friday, my office is closing early for the holiday, and we're having a party, and I'm all for civic duty and all that jazz, but I don't want it to infringe on my time parting with my coworkers at a winery.  That would make me sad.

So I explain to the judge that my work will suffer if I miss the second part of the week, so if we could please keep the latter part of the week free, I would be most grateful.  She seems to have accommodated me: I report for a panel on Wednesday.  The way she was assigning, I would have been later this week, because my juror number is so high.  Or she might have dismissed me.  Who knows?

So on Wednesday, I report back to court, and we'll see if I get selected.  If so, the judge said the case will complete on Wednesday, so I'd be all free after that day, which of course is what SHOULD happen, but if I get picked for that jury, they will be doomed to my luck, and the case will go three weeks over a fence in someone's backyard or something.  So it's in their best interest to not pick me.  I will have to make sure to tell them that I've been a plaintiff in a personal injury case before, and that I hate insurance companies.  I'm hoping that will keep me off any jury.

And if not, at least I'll have lots to write about.  You know... after the case.

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So I'm doing this Holidalies thing this year.  Holidalies is a holiday portal of people who have committed to updating daily for the entire month of December.  There are 40-45 sites with talented, funny, smart writers who are going to do this.  Cool, eh? (well, 39-44 talented, funny, smart writers, plus myself, but whatever)

I'll have a link on my sidebar soon.  I would have done it today, but civic duty and working on a website in the same day?  You must be MAD!

What? You're not getting the rabid nun-killer of Bexar county? No death-row appeals? Tell that judge you only want a high-profile case!

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