I'll admit that I was a little bit cocky. I don't have any serious fear of heights, so I thought that I'd have no trouble at ALL doing the high ropes course at our company retreat on Friday.

So there I was, just after lunch, sitting at the top of a six story tower that they call The Screamer. I was wearing a harness that a kid just a few months out of college had attached a cable to that I was supposed to swing on. Holy Mother of Christ.

"You know what? I don't think I really want to do this."

"Are you sure? You were doing so well!"

"Oh, I'm GOING to do it, but I don't WANT to. So what do I have to do?"

"It's really easy, just put both of your hands on the cable, and then lean forward. I'll release you, and you'll swing."

Did I mention that all of my coworkers were sitting around the bottom, cheering me on? There were, and it wasn't like I could just say nevermind and have the guy just unhook the cable and go on about my business. I was In It, and there was nothing to do but lean forward and fall.

So I did, and I even managed not to cuss like a horny sailor as I fell. I ended up laughing. It was fun. And I was proud of myself. Yay!

I did a lot of the other high ropes functions, except for one called Leap of Faith, because I'll be DAMNED if I'm going to stand on top of a telephone pole and jump off. The girl who was spotting on the rope that keeps you from, you know, crashing to the rocks below weighed about 100 pounds, and I weigh 260, so I didn't fucking think so. Not hardly. Uh uh.

After a day of climbing ropes, walking on cables and the like, you'd think my normally-sedientary ass would be exhausted, but I think that all the adreniline in my body had me going. I ended up going to Austin last night to visit with some friends and I had a great time.

Today, I can barely raise my arms above my head, I'm so sore. I love it.

You're nuts, Tim.

Not me! No way, now how! My ass stays as close to the ground as humanly possible.