I have found that from time to time, my life undergoes TONS of changes all at once... I guess that's how life is, right? A period of immutability, and then... changechangechange.

I'm not sure which I like better. I love change... crave it in fact, but with change can also come depression for me. And I have be very carefully in my head the whole time, using that cognitive therapy that I've paid so very much for, and make sure the decisions I make are healthy and sound. The good news is that it seems to be getting easier, but then, I'm in that immutability phase right now for the most part.

As for me and my life, I'm really really tired of being single. I have plenty of friends and at least enough sex as is healthy, but every morning, I wake up alone. While it's nice to have sole control over my domain and domicile, I still feel like something's missing. I'm at a point where I'm ready to not be so Mary Tyler Moore about my life and set up house (you know... but without the bad parties and white couches).

I realize that craving a relationship doesn't make one happen. In fact, I've seen too many men (some of whom I've dated) who were so desperate for a relationship that you could taste the desperation when you were around them.

And as I've written here before, I've gotten picky in recent years. Not so much about looks, but I want a man who I can have a conversation with, someone who's not going to ask me what "inundated" means. I want a man who's passionate about things, including me (but not cats!).

And I'm not so naive as to think that some man is going too come sweep me off my feet while birds chirp and harp music play, and we'll run through a field of flowers into our Destiny... to be joined as one.

God. I get sick just typing that. The truth is, that doesn't happen in life. Relationships take work, compromise and a good sense of humor, or you'd best just stay alone.

In the meantime, I'm not miserable. I have a life I love, and friends, family and pets who love me very much. Life's pretty good for me right now. Want to share it?

Found your site whilst looking for Luey 2003 pix... where did they get to, anyway? :-)

In my [ahem] vast experience, the best relationships come along either when you least expect them, or perhaps even more so when you actively avoid them. Entering into a relationship and compromising simply because you don't want to be alone is an incredibly bad idea. Misery is sure to follow.

Any road up, who says fairytales can't come true? Sometimes, when you find the right guy, all the compromises and hurdles become insignificant because you get sucked into a happiness feedback loop. The hardest thing when you reach a certain age or level of emotional experience is to allow yourself to be unreservedly happy without being cynical.

Love should simplify and magnify life, not make it more complicated.

Hey Tim - Kenski is right. I found my (bear) partner 4 years ago when I wasn't even thinking about or looking for a relationship. I was fine with being on my own at the time, but I'm even better with him. Sometimes I wonder where I'd be if we hadn't met & I think I would be a little less happy, and still stuck in a job I was beginning to hate. Instead, I relocated, found a job that I love AND a man that I love too!
I understand where you're coming from, but even though you want to fill in the missing piece (as it were), don't let that be the only reason to settle down with someone. They say there is someone for everyone out there. Don't worry at it - he will come along when you're truly ready for him. Trust me. Peace.