I went to Wal-Mart tonight.  I didn't go at midnight when I usually do, because I wanted the benefit of crowds, because I went to Wal-Mart to buy a bra for Halloween.  I didn't think I'd have a big problem... just sneak into the department, grab the biggest, scariest bra I could find (preferably strapless) and buy about a million other things so that it didn't look like I went to Wal-Mart to buy a big bra.

You know what my few forays into drag have taught me?  Being a girl is HARD.  Damn.  So many sizes and colors and some have wire, some don't, some look like they wouldn't support a helium-filled balloon, some that looked all industrial strength and could support a bridge.  The really big ones even had gel in the straps, which, given the heft that a set of real 50-DDs would weigh, is a good idea.  Y'all, I saw a size 48-B bra.  That's an odd shaped woman, you know?  And I also saw a 34-DD bra which is OBVIOUSLY made for people who have surgically altered their boobage.

So they didn't have a strapless one.  I think they don't make 50-DDs in strapless, because that would violate the laws of physics.  I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm not totally worried about it, honestly.  My dress will hold those footballs in place nicely.

My back is okay, I guess.  I think I strained it, but Advil is working (I'm taking the liqui-gels, in a doctor-advised dosage of 2400 milligrams a day) and it seems better each day.  There is a funny story about my back, but have embarrassed myself enough today.

Actually... 34DD... that's not as surgically altered as you think... that's an average girl with quite the handful... ok, a hell of a handful... but not as unnatural as you may think. I just hope whoever buys that bra has a good chiropractor!

Depending on how much you're willing to pay, I could point you to a strapless bra in the size range in question. I'm not sure why they make them, because I don't know many women that size who wear strapless or even sleeveless dresses, but they're out there. You just have to know where to look. (Not Wal-Mart, though I love me some late night Wally World trips.)

I think I have a strapless 46DD that I bought for my wedding dress. It cost $50, and I didn't buy it at futhermuckin' Mal-wart. Try Fashion Bug Plus, which is as cheap as Walmart but with more selection.

Hey, I'm a natural 34-DD here!

Me Too!!

Me Too!!

I am a natural 34 DD too! Sometime's it sucks because it SOOO hard for me to find that size because it's an odd size.

I'm a natural 34DDD! Some of us have bizarre bodies- it doesn't mean we're surgically altered! And it DOES suck! This size is IMPOSSIBLE to find!