So I have succumbed to my geekitude and ordered a T-Mobile Sidekick.  I really pretty much fell in lust with it when I saw Double-A's and then I saw Monty's and knew I had to have one, even though the phone I had was not very old and a damn nice device in it's own right.

But I ordered one anyway, and because I'm a Loyal T-Mobile Customer and They Appreciate My Business, I got a heck of a deal (with rebates and the like it'll be less than a hundred bucks, not that I ever depend on myself to mail a rebate, because I usually forget).  I agreed to kick in for the overnight shipping, because I'm all type-A like that, and hell, I've wanted one for months, and I didn't want to wait anymore.

And then, the hell began.  First of all, I ordered The Device (as it will forever be known to myself and Mare) early on Tuesday because I wanted to make sure it would arrive on Wednesday.  I ordered it around 9 am, and I asked the lady on the phone, "so this will be here tomorrow, right?"  She said yes, and I believed her.  Why do I believe cell phone customer service people?  CELL PHONE PROVIDER customer service people?  It's that damned Pollyanna view of the world that I have, I guess. 

Turns out, the ended up not SHIPPING the Device until Wednesday, which would mean that I would receive it on Thursday.  Fine, whatever, please refund my shipping fees, T-Mobile, since that's not at all what you promised me.  They said they would, but I see another phone call in my future.

So this morning, I called T-Mobile, secure in the knowledge they would have a tracking number for me, and when I called, they acted like I was nuts or something.  "You?  Ordered a PHONE?" 

In my vast experience with T-Mobile customer service (and I have lots of history with these folks... my coworkers insist that they be within earshot when I call them) I have determined that if you get a REALLY dumb one, it's best to end the call, and call back.  Seriously.

So the second person I've talked to today (and SEVENTH person I've dealt with about this) actually was able to see the order, and asked me to hold while he got a tracking number.  So I held.  And held.  And HOLY MICHAEL BOLTON!  I held some more.

He then came back on the line, and apologized for the long wait (but not the Michael Bolton) and said that he had a UPS tracking number for me, and I'd have to call them.  Which was weird, because it was 9 am, and I didn't think there was a problem as long as they had shipped it, but then it hit me: FUCKING UPS.

UPS is great if you want to send a package to your Grandma, who is neither in a hurry or is even aware that you are sending something.  The price is right, and eventually, the package will get there, even though you might get faster results if you hired a swarm of insects to transport your package.

UPS Air, however, has only TWICE delivered a package in a timely manner for me.  So I tracked the package on the web, and noticed that my phone, according to the UPS website, had arrived at the airport in Dallas over 12 hours ago, and...

So I called UPS to see if they could tell me WHY my package sat in one place for 12 hours, when they only have 18 hours total to deliver it.  I called three times and got the same answer three times: "we don't know, and aren't really concerned about it until tomorrow.  Keep tracking it on the web, and call us tomorrow if you don't have it."

I asked if the concept of "timely" meant anything to them, and if they realized that FedEx can react much more quickly, and they Thanked Me For Calling UPS.

So I'm a bit pissed right now.  I have seen Hell, looked it in the face, and it's customer "service" people at major corporations.

Let this be a lesson to you, gorgeous. You wanted too much. You had a phone. In fact, you had a Phone You Loved. But no. No! It wasn't good enough for you! You had to go to The Device! You had to turn your back on the Phone You Loved because The Device turned your head with some fancy schmancy singin' and dancin'! Huh. Just like a man... natch.

Commenting from the Device. It is true I WantToo Much. Damn me.