7:00 pm
Resolve to go to bed early and catch up on sleep... say... 9:00

9:00 pm
Watch the season premiere of Average Joe.  Wonder who cares.  Wonder why Adam didn't eliminate the guppy-faced bitch with a bad laugh.  Get pissed at Adam for sending home every girl in a dress larger than a 4.  Wonder who the hell Adam thinks he is.

10:00 pm
Get ready for bed and make certain that dog has done her business.  Wonder why dog looks distressed.  Chaulk it up to new dog in house.  Get in bed with laptop.

11:43 pm
Decide to not surf eBay looking for... well, decide to stop surfing eBay.

12:30 am
Wonder why Heidi Fleiss is on Blind Date.  Curse Roger Lodge and his ilk for making you stay up to see.  Decide that Heidi is a bitch, but a good one.  Wish Heidi had never mentioned all the lesbians in prison.  Mind boggles.  Sleep not imminent.

1:00 am
Lights out.  Ceiling fan on low.

1:03 pm, 1:06 pm and 1:12 pm
Turn over your hot, hot pillow, and ponder on why you are so damn hot with the fan ON.

1:12 am
Turn ceiling fan on medium using the remote on your nightstand.  Bitch in your head to nobody in particular that three speeds is not enough.  Quiz over why things are blowing around in your room, but you are not feeling any air.

1:15 am
Figure out that your fan has been reversed, and is blowing all your air onto the ceiling, where you are certain one could sleep, if only there were no gravity.

1:16 am
Contemplate life without gravity.  Would we even be able to feel the air move?  Do astronauts in space feel air moving, or is it really that stuffy in a spaceship?  Decide not to ever go into space if it's stuffy.  Realize you are making no sense.

1:20 am
Get up to pee.  Stupid aging bladder and liter of water!

1:22 am
Dog farts.

1:23 am
Breifly contemplate the practicality of charcoal-lined doggie pants.  Ponder over logistics of dogs tail on such a garment.  Remark to yourself in your head that such a thing would look silly, but would probably sell anyway, since there is an entire canine apparel industry.

1:24 am
Dog farts.  Mull over the possibility that the dog might have un upset stomach.  Try not to dwell on the accident where the man died a terrible death right in front of your eyes.

1:29 am
Dog vomits all over comforter.  Revisit thoughts that dog is sick.  Get up and take care of it.  Wonder if you'll ever get to sleep.

1:33 am
Try again to take the advice of your therapist and imagine the accident in black and white instead of color, or with blurred edges.  Freak the hell out because my mind is apparently 1080i high definintion, when it needs to be 1940s old school Honeymooner's episodes.

1:34 am
Wonder if the Kramdens got a phone later, or if they used their neighbors all the time like in that one episode where they dropped it down from above.  Think that in later episodes, you recall seeing it, but leave a note on your voice recorder to check Google in the morning.

1:38 am
Dog farts.  Ceiling fan too fast.  Great idea for a journal entry hits.  Leave most of it in your voice recorder.

2:02 am
Decide that as little as the Muse has visited lately, you should write this down NOW.

2:30 am
Complete the writing and publish as draft.

2:31 am
Check email, since you're up anyway.

3:12 am
Tell everyone that you are chatting with that you realize in Australia it's midday, but that YOU need sleep, and will be leaving now.

3:14 am
Wonder why in the hell your house is so hot.  Contemplate turning on air conditioner and mull over what it would be like to awake in a meat locker.  Turn fan to medium, and put one leg outside comforter to serve as a radiator.

3:15 am
Tell dog to not lick your toes with her barfy tounge.  Dog responds by farting.  Resolve to kick dog out of bed if she does it again.

3:25 am
Kick dog out of bed.  Dog retires to her sheepskin on the floor.

3:35 am
Dog begins snoring, and harddrive on TiVo begins defragging or something.  Give up and take a single Tylenol P.M.

3:45 am
Zzzzzzzzzz..... (finally)

Warm milk, baby. Warm milk. And bourbon.

Hey there--I like the idea your therapist gave you about seeing it in black and white. My mom was in a horrible car vs 18-wheeler accident in October of 2003. I didn't see it happen (thank you, Jesus), but have seen the pictures and the damage it did to my mom. I still have the images of her on the ventilator and fighting her arm restraints with the panice in her eyes (makes me want to cry just thinking about it)...I may try those in black and white. She survived and is fine (for the most party), but it is a miracle.

Matt is mine mine mine and don't you forget it. But I might share. :D

On a serious note I'm very sorry to hear about the accident you witnessed. God, I can't imagine.