The following timeline is an actual representation of an actual evening spent at San Antonio's Pig Stand, which  is one of the oldest restaurants in San Antonio and is open 24 hours a day.  We went there after calling it an early evening at the bar.  The food is good (you know... if you're half-drunk) and the staff is very sweet.  Also, the women's room is apparently VERY comfortable. 

DISCLAIMER:
All times are approximate and dramatic license may or may not have been employed.

12:15 am
There were only seven of us: six gay men and one woman.  I had never met Becky before, but she seemed really sweet.  We enjoyed our conversation with her very much and found her funny and sweet.  Quite smart.  Good lady.

12:45 am
We were enjoying the company, the adequate food, and the atmosphere.  Becky finished her patty melt and went into the women's restroom.  About that same time, I needed to go, so I did.  A couple of the people went outside to smoke.  We continued visiting.

1:20 am
I went to the restroom a second time.  When I came back inside, everyone looked as if they'd just had a good laugh, and I got paranoid, because I was SURE they were laughing at my tiny bladder.  Turns out, Becky's friend had mentioned that she's somewhat narcaleptic, and was still in the rest room.

1:35 am
Now, this situation is delicate, because you feel really, really bad laughing.  What if she had a heart attack or something?  So I want to go on record as saying that I was laughing at what went on on OUR side of the door, okay?  That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

1:36 am
"Mija?  Mija?  It's Lupe... the waitress?  Are you okay in there?" 
Lupe was very concerned.  We asked her if she had a key, and she nodded and got a butter knife.  This was, to six half drunk gay men, sorta funny.  She was unable to open the door with the butter knife, but Becky assured Lupe that she'd be right out, and was ok.  Good to know.

1:45 am
Lupe has involved the manager.  He knocked on the door, too.  Becky once again apparently responded that she was okay and would be right out.  We asked him if he had a key, and he went to work with a butter knife.  Tears are welling up in my eyes, because... where's the key?

1:47 am
Lupe starts walking toward the door, this time with a steak knife.  I have to go outside because I'm quite certain that I'm about to bust out laughing inapproriately.

1:50 am
I'm still laughing... and have been joined by three other members of our party, who are also about hysterical.

1:55 am
We recieve word that Becky has emerged from the restroom looking well-rested.  She did indeed fall asleep, confessing that she'd been awake for about 30 hours in a row.  Despite the fact that we don't know her very well, we tease her without mercy.  Lupe is explaining to other tables what the big deal was, and points at Becky in the process.

2:00 am
We leave the restaraunt, still laughing.  It's been two days, and I still think it's hilarious.  The funniest line all night: "this gives a whole new meaning to passing in your sleep!"

Oh dear. Oh my sweet Jesus...

This has to be the funniest thing I've read in a long, long time... I'm not sure why it's so damned hilarious, and I'm feeling somewhat conflicted about it, also, but that one raised a couple of hearty chortles.

Thank you!

"passing in your sleep" has got to be the funniest thing I've heard in a long, long time!

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