This is getting easier.

I had fallen out of the habit of writing.  I just couldn't bring myself to write.  I used to write everyday, whether I wanted to or not, but that rhythm somehow broke and I only posted when I felt like it, which wasn't often, alas.  I would sometimes think a funny phrase or absurd event belonged here, but the effort to do it?  Not so much.

The Holidalies have brought me back.  I HAVE to post daily, because I SAID I would.  And I have.  Don't know why that's any different than last yeah, when I posted a whopping FIVE entries (and a big ol' thank you to Jette for keeping THAT on your site!) but last year's failure seems to have pushed me to exercise this muscle a bit more.  And for that, I'm grateful.  Jette and her Beau don't know it, but they've given me a wonderful gift... my "voice."  Thanks. 

This year has not been an easy one for me.  I've gone through some pretty severe stuff that I haven't felt empowered or compelled to share.  I'm okay, my health is fine (better than in a long time, actually) but 2004 will not go down as one of my finest years.  I guess we all have those, don't we?  Heaven knows I've had my fair share.

There is good news, though.  Despite a craptastic year and a series of events that in the past would have destroyed my mental health and self esteem, I didn't have a meltdown like I would have five or ten years ago.  I just handled things and am going on with my life.  Life has good things, life has bad things, and usually both at the same time.  There are no  more "zip-a-dee-doo-dah," "Everything's coming up roses" sort of times for me.  I no longer expect such moods.  I think feelings like that are healthiest when left in the realm of musical theatre, and out of the realm of denial.

That's not to say I don't expect to be happy.  I do, and I am.  I just don't think that one's life is ever 100% good or 100% bad.  The world doesn't work that way.  A lot of the secret to happiness is perhaps focusing on whatever percentage is good whilst dealing head-on with the bad parts.

That, and to laugh as much as possible.

I know what you mean about the committment to Holidailies....even though my well of stuff to write about has been dry enough that I've petitioned friends for blog topics, I'm finding that I'm more focussed because I'm writing daily, even when it's drivel. I didn't blog in November because I was working on NaNoWriMo, and my thought process suffered for it...

I'm also really enjoying 'meeting' bloggers I ordinarily wouldn't come across.

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