I know that it's not uncommon to post search terms that people enter to find your site, but the crop of inquiries I've gotten this week have been so WEIRD lately, I thought I'd share a bit.  Someboy ACTUALLY typed these terms into a search engine, which is scary enough.  Even more frightening is that the search engine sent them to MY site:

• jesus sticker design on car com (Okay.  Whatever.  God Bless You and lead, follow, or get out of the way!)
• people with disco clothes (I wanna put on... my my my my boogie shoes!)
• joe millionaire sweater where to buy (WHY?)
• big mexican ass in tight pants (Ew.)
• watch the aflac duck insurance commercial (Again: WHY?)
• anal leakage men underwear (Remind me never to mention this again, okay?)
• what s strange about the jack daniel s distillery (It's in a dry county.  But why MY site?)
• fine booty (Gee. Thanks. But I think I was talking about Kurt.)
• german cartoon tattoos (What?)
• guy sitting on toilet (Um.)
• freeballing men (I wrote ONE entry about Kurt not wearing underwear, and I get searched for the term "freeball" for the rest of my life.)
• jewish lounge furniture (Three words that I always put together!)
• san antonio wealthy gay men (Thanks again.)
• sex with no underwear on (Is there another option?)

I just don't know what to say after all that.

I woke up in a really, really good mood.  Don't know why.  Maybe because in one week, I'll be having lots of fun.  Maybe it's the Celexa.    The good news is, nothing has pissed me off today and ruined it.  I'm hoping for more of this, as are my coworkers, family and friends, I'd guess.

---

I've been listening to Willie Nelson's "new" album, Crazy: the Demo Sessions.  I highly recommend it... if you are a Willie Nelson fan.

I've been a Willie fan since I was a little boy.  It's part of being Texan, I guess.  One of the coolest things ever was getting to see him live at Gruene Hall.  The intimate setting was perfect for a Willie show, and he seemed to have a great time, too.  Please don't take away my Gay Card for the Willie Love, okay?

Hee.  Willie Love. I'd hardly lose my Gay Card for THAT!

Anyway, his new release consists of demos he recorded between 1960 and 1966.  They are very simply arranged and Willie's young voice is allowed to be front-and-center.  It's amazing.  Very honky-tonk.  Very cool.

The music holds up well over the years.  Willie's voice is more mature now, but it's easy to see why he rose to the top with the voice he had then.  I'm very fond of Things to Remember and the title track is very good, too.  I've heard Willie sing Crazy before, but this old recording is enough to make you forget about Patsy Cline altogether.

And that's saying something.

What a day!  I woke up to a phone call from work telling me that our office was closed today due to ice.  Thanks, Mother Nature!  Paid day off?  I'll take it!

So I went back to bed, of course, and slept.  And slept.  And slept.  Goodness, I feel rested and great!

I was tired to begin with because I had one heck of a weekend.

It started on Friday, with a gathering of the Austin Journalers.  I have so much fun with these people and this gathering proved to be no exception.  We sat around and had many Tex-Mex appetizers, some consisting of nothing more than a bowl of cheese.  Much laugher was had.  People were talked about.  Margaritas were consumed.  Friendships were strengthened or began.  That's such a neat group of people.

On Saturday, I made yet another trip to Houston to visit with my great-grandmother in the hospital.  She's not well at all, and each time I see her, she's worse.  It's heartbreaking and sad, but I realize it's also part of life, so I trying to keep it in perspective.

Despite the circumstances of my trip, I did manage to have some fun, thanks to Kat.  She so rocks, y'all.  She and Andy (her other half) drove across town to pick me up from the hospital and we went to one of my favorite places to eat in Houston, and then they proposed Dave and Buster's for after-dinner entertainment.

I had never, ever been to a Dave and Buster's.  It was fun.  Video games and booze?  What a concept!  It was a lot of fun, and Kat and Andy introduced me Pump It Up!  I think I'm going to buy the home version of this, because it rocks.

Sunday, I spent more time with my great-grandmother, and I held her hand as she slept.  Her hands are twisted with age and we her dexterity is almost nil now.  I teared up when I thought about all she has done for me with those hands.  She has lovingly stitched and remodeled my teddy bear more times than I can count.  I will never be able to look at him without thinking about her.

So that was my weekend.  I had a good day at work on Monday.  We have a thrift store, and I was delighted to find a Sleep and Snore Ernie in mint condition available for sale.  I loved this toy when it came out, yet I never got one.  I thought he'd live in my office, but once I got him back to the office, I found out that for some reason, Ernie would blurt out "I FEEL GREAT!" at random intervals.

While my coworkers were really happy for Ernie, they did ask that I take him home so that he could feel great here.  So it is.  However, Ernie will have to feel great with no batteries in, because enough is enough!

So that's my weekend (and then some).

Many online writers from Austin are writing about the same topic for today and tomorrow: "What would you do with four free hours in Austin?"

I love Austin.  Every second spent in the city is magical.  Okay, "magical" overstates a bit, but I really like Austin.  A lot.  And there's lots to do, so I'm going to write this entry twice, with two different answers.  Apparently, I want to spend EIGHT spare hours.  So be it.

I love to relax, and Austin is a laid-back kinda city.  I would begin my day by "climbing" Mount Bonell.  It's a little hike up a lot of stairs, but you are handsomely rewarded with a beautiful view of Austin.  Not just beautiful: awe-inspiring.  Local legend has it that more people are proposed to up there than anywhere else in Austin.  I should be so lucky.

After that, I'd be hungry (and a bit thirsty) so I think I'd head over to Hula Hut for some polynesian/tex-mex fusion.  The margaritas aren't bad, either.

I'd then find my way over to Book People for a little browsing and people-watching (which is always good in Austin).

That, my friends, is four hours.  It's also a relaxing, purely Austin time.  Can't wait until tomrorrow!

I find myself wanting to be cool and end all my thoughts in "yo."  (Blame the Visa commercial with Yao Ming)  It's a stupid idea, but indulge me, yo?

Geez.  It's Friday.  Can I go home early?

Actually, I don't really want to go HOME, I want to go to Austin, where the online journalers will be meeting at six or so.  I say "or so" because last month at the Happy Hour, I arrived at six, and of course nobody else showed until almost seven.  That's a long time to expect me to sit in a straight bar alone, yo.

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone, though, so I suppose it's worth it, yo.

I have not done much this week because on Wednesday morning, I woke up with the beginnings of a migraine.  I get migraines every few months or so, but I can usually head them off at the pass with Imitrex.  No such luck this time, but I suffered through the day at work, thinking I'd be okay soon enough, yo yo yo.

On Thursday morning, I think I would have paid someone to kill me.  I felt as if I had an unborn twin trying to claw it's way out of my skull with a melon baller.  I hurt, and was NOT in a good mood, yo.

So I missed a day of work.  I slept all day.  I thought I'd beat it, yo.

My head still hurts today.  I'm better, though.  This pain is tolerable, and I no longer feel as if I'm going to vomit from the pain, so that's a good sign, yo.

Migraines suck, yo.

Not much else to report.  This weekend, I'm going to Houston to see my great-grandmother, who is still quite ill.  I'm hoping to see my friends in Houston, too.  Hope everyone has a great weekend, and next week, I'm not expecting any migraines or bactierial infections, and can post regularly again, (yo).

That WAS a stupid idea.  Yo.

I know this is not the most shocking of statements, but I was sometimes a difficult child.

Kim wrote a bit about her memories of Valentine's Day last week, and it triggered a memory.

I remember when I was about in third grade. The teacher had written the name of all the students in our class on the blackboard so that we could give a Valentine to each child. This was not uncommon at that time. I, of course, didn't copy the list. I'm not sure what I did. Maybe I zoned out. Maybe I acted like I was writing things down. Maybe I was reading Are You There God, It's Me Margaret. All I know is that I didn't write the list.

So on the evening of February the 13th, I remember sitting with mother in the living room with a pained, stressed looked on her face, as she asked me "and WHO sits next to Lois, Tim?" I also recall that the difficult names stressed her out, and I was in class with a Yashicka.

The distance of the years clouds the details, mostly the detail of "WHY DIDN'T MOTHER JUST SEND ME TO SCHOOL WITH THIRTY BLANK CARDS WITH MY NAME SIGNED ON THEM?!" but that's okay. I'm just glad that my mother had the patience of a saint. She needed it.

Happy Valentine's Day.  I love you all, and want everyone who reads this to be my Valentine.

Because I'm an attention whore.  Not that you didn't know that.

Of course, I'm single (again) for VDay, so I have very mixed feelings about this day, which I will call "Chocolate Day" because I work in an office full of women, and our usual chocolate level of 5.5 bites per employee (bpe) has been increased to at least 21.4 bpe.  We got Hershey, Nestle, Cadbury... you name it, we got it up in here.

As a single man, I just really want this holiday to be over--so that I can go buy my Necco hearts at half off tomorrow.  Love those things, although I might as well mix sugar with water and inject it into my veins like a drug addict.  Love love love the message hearts.

At risk for diabetes?  Pretty much.  New topic.

---

You may have noticed that I've been posting pretty much daily again.  I don't know why I am, but I am.  I like it here, and don't like it when I don't post much.  I'm no longer under my "post every weekday" goal, but I suspect I'll be around quite a bit more than I thought I'd be when I reached my goal of one year.

In other site notes, I upgraded my Movable Type to version 2.6 last night.  Don't know why, I guess I felt like geeking out a bit.  Truth is, MT had made quite a few improvements in this version, a couple of which would help me directly, so upgrade I did.  It was easy, with no drama.  No freaking out "where is my site?" kinda stuff.  This is a good thing.

---

My weekend is going to consist of going out tonight, and then going to Houston tomorrow to see my great-grandmother.  She's not doing very well, but that's a topic for another time.  Have a great weekend.

So last night, I went to Austin to the Gay Leather Social.  A good time was had by all, and I got to spend the evening with many of my friends. 

As a rule, the leather crowd is a lot of fun.  I find them to be nice, friendly and usually pretty smart people.  There's a lot of overlap between the Bear and leather communities, and I'll admit to owning lots of leather myself.  It's fun.

So what did a bunch of big, butch, burly leathermen talk about last night?  Chicago.

I swear I did not bring it up (much), even though I had listened to the sound track all the way to the bar, and I was very aware that they both, they both, they both reached for the gun, for the gun.

See, I tend to obsess over musicals.  I always have, every since I saw The Sound Of Music when I was a little boy.  When a new musical hits big, I'll buy the sound track, see the movie repeatedly, and offer to take everyone I know to go see it.  I saw it with Mark a few weeks ago, and of course hauled my parents there as soon as I could.  I will gladly see it again with anyone who wants to, and I promise not to sing (audibly) or dance (visibly) and All That Jazz.  There's not a person I've communicated with this week that I haven't recommended the movie to.  Most of the gay men I know have already seen it.

So of course we talked about it, and all agree that it warrants seeing.  We were all Razzle Dazzled.  So there you go... forget about those fancy-smancy movie critics, eight gay men wearing a lot of leather in a gay bar recommend it.  There's no better endorsement than that, my friends. 

---

I had someone ask me what what up with my new cell phone.  Good question.  I never got the one that I ordered.  So, after a call to T-Mobile, they send me "another" phone (they never send the first one, of course) and I received a phone via UPS today.  It was, of course, the wrong model, not what I ordered at all.  So I called and immediately asked for the supervisor.  Supervisor Sandra (operator number 58429) came on, and halfway through my story, abruptly put me on hold. 

After 30 minutes or so, I decided she had no intention of coming back on the line.  Anita Baker, however, With All Her Heart She Loves Me Baby.  Oleta Adams wants me to Get Here.  I began to think that all soulful black women were conspiring against me and my ability to be satisfied by my cell phone company.  I hung up before being subjected to Sade.

When I called back, I got what I had been seeking.  A gay man.  Gay men usually give me what I want, because I sound very sexy on the phone.  Or something.  Anyway, he gave me my first apology I've heard from them since all this started, six months ago.  He credited my account in many ways, and if Jason (#0458085) comes through (and I think he will) I will have my phone tomorrow and that will make me happy.

So I've allegedly got a new cellphone on the way.

I say "allegedly" because T-Mobile has proven itself less than reliable when they say they sending me something.

Yes, you read that right.  T-Mobile.  Think they suck?  Well, the sorta do, but I've had worse (trust me on this) and if you show me some other company that will give me 3000 monthly minutes for fifty bucks, and I'll switch.

Actually, I've been happy with my SERVICE.  I have coverage most of the time, but that neato gadget phone that I bought six months ago?  Yeah.  That sucked.  It didn't gracefully move from tower to tower (which is pretty much the BASIS of celluar communication) and it's just never really been right.

Even though I found lots of postings on the Internet about this exact problem, both Sony Ericsson and T-Mobile refused to admit that it existed.  I exchanged the phone twice, and the SIM card once.  Both parties, however, would be happy to sell me a brand new phone.  I can't begin to tell you how much that pissed me off.

When I'm pissed, I send emails and make phone calls.  CEO in Japan?  Uh huh.  Federal Communications Commission?  Uh huh.  The rental office of the malls that have company-owned stores?  Yep.

So I'm getting a brand-new Motorola T720i.  They supposedly sent it to me on Friday (overnight), but I don't have it yet, and can't get a tracking number out of T-Mobile.  This REALLY pisses me off.  They will rue the day they ever crossed me, I promise you that!

Anyway, while I'm waiting, I've been looking around the Internet at all the features that the phone has to offer.  Besides most of the features I have on my existing phone, it also boasts something called polyphonic ringtones.

Apparently my new phone, instead of making horrible shrill tones that you can actually hear, it will play MIDI files.  Yep, those in my immediate vicinity will be fooled into thinking that I have stuffed a Casio keyboard in my pants. 

I'm wonding what ringtone/song I'm going to download.  I'm torn between We're Off To See The Wizard or something by Abba.  I'm so very very gay, y'all.

Anyway, I'll let you guys know when I get it.  Trust me, everyone's gonna be tired of hearing about it, especilly if this phone sucks, too.

Wow. Six days, no update. I started getting emails, people asking me if I was sick or something. Truth is, I was.

I felt so bad, I didn't work. Y'all, I always work when I'm sick. I mean, it sucks to waste a sick day on actual sickness, and I figure if I'm going to be miserable, I might as well be miserable at work, right?

No.

Fever apparently kicks my ass. I get achy, tired and bitchy. Mainly bitchy. And when I'm bitchy, I can't be at work, because I'm not good at faking "nice", so I thought for everyone's sake, I'd go home. Damn.

NyQuil, my friends, is one powerful drug. I swear, I'm pretty sure that LSD (or acid or whatever the kids are calling it these days) would not provide me with more powerful visions and weirder thought patterns. Perhaps I shouldn't have doubled the dose.

Obviously, I have very little recollection of the end of last week. I think it was mostly miserable, but I was drugged beyond belief, so I didn't care. Does NyQuil even combat all those symptoms it claims, or does it just knock you out?

So I'm better now, but I fear this week at work. I am so far behind, I think my only hope is some sort of bend in the time-space continuim that will allow me to catch up. That, or I can stay late a few days this week. I'm rooting for the bend myself.

Hope all is well with the world. My world seems fine, albeit a bit stressful. I am currently "fighting" and resisting that whole "flight" thing, but we'll see how the rest of this week goes...

Columbia. I will agree that the whole incident is sad, and I am upset, but as Omar said today, I couldn't muster up tons of emotion; I just filed it away in that part of my brain. Sad, yes. Devastating to me? Unfortunately, no. Honestly, Bush's apparent upset rings hollow to me, since the whole time that he was Governer of Texas, he never visited Johnson Space Center in Houston, and hasn't ever mentioned the Space Program in any of his speeches.

Speaking of Bushie, his Federal Budget was released yesterday. The budget, featuring a staggering deficit of 300 or so billion dollars. Critics immediately decryed it as "the most irresponsible budget ever." Bush said that the shortfall was because of "a war not of his own choosing" and a bad economy.

I'm going to have to just ignore the "own choosing" thing, because if I don't, my brain will explode, but when I heard this, my head was screaming "AND BECAUSE HE GAVE ALL THE FEDERAL MONEY BACK TO THE TAXPAYERS!!!"

They didn't mention that on NPR.

NPR. I'm a big big fan of NPR, but I've began listening to my CD player in my car because I am beginning to think that I have Considered All Things at this point. Yeah, I tend to obsess sometimes.

Let's see... other drama?! I need a toilet seat. The one I have is loose, and so I need a new one. The problem? I have two. The first is that my toilet is an elongated toilet, so not just ANY seat will do. The other problem is that I don't know what color my toilet is. I mean, I know what color it is, but I don't know what Kohler Kolor it is. I have narrowed it down to either almond or Mexican Sand or Desert View.

I suppose I could take the seat off, take it into Home Depot and have someone help me. The problem with that is that while I have no problem talking about gay sex, my mental health, and drinking on the Internet, I can not and will not take a toilet seat out of my house and show it to another person.

Maybe I should just replace the toilet.

So last night.

I had good intentions and a good plan.  I was going to go to dinner with Kurt, and then come home.  I was excited about my dinner, because I was going to get sushi.  Kurt, much to my surprise, had never had sushi before (he loves fish, and is everso hip).

Now.  Everybody who knows me knows what the hell happened.  I did NOT go straight home after dinner.  I was persuaded to Go Out.

Kurt and I always have lots of fun when we go out, because we drink at about the same speed, and have lots to talk about.  If you have ever walked in front of us in a bar, we HAVE critiqued your outfit and your behavior.  That's how it is.  We are just that way. (Although in our defense, if you sit in a bar with a generic bottle of Oil of Olay in front of you, smoking and applying the facial grease while you drink hand over fist, you deserve to be talked about. Yes. We saw that.)

Last night, we danced.  I haven't been dancing in years.  I have been to discos, but haven't danced much.  I don't know why, but I just haven't.

Turns out, dancing was totally social.  It sure got conversation going for me.  At least, you know... among my body parts:

knees:  Damnit, what ARE you doing?

Tim's Brain:  He appears to be dancing.

knees:  Are you trying to kill me?

TB:  Apparently, he thinks he can still do this.  He used to dance for hours on end.

knees:  We were in HIGH SCHOOL then, for God sakes!  that was almost fifteen years ago!  The DJ is playing something BESIDES Milli Vannilli.

TB:  He thinks he can handle it.  It's fun.

knees:  It's crazy.  And we hurt.  A lot. 

Self consciousness:  Tell you what.  I'm kinda with the knees here.  I look FOOLISH out here.  I've been able to veto this dancing stuff for a few years, what are we DOING?

TB:  You got overridden when we started taking Celexa, and we elected Self Esteem as the new leader.

Self Esteem:  Yeah! 

knees:  Might I remind everyone that we weighed about sixty pounds less when we did this before?

...

So I didn't dance long.  I had a good time, though, and saw some friends.  Good start to the weekend.